January 2nd, 2010
I found out my Grandparents divorced. Knowing my aunts were all in this, made it even more curious & wondering. I was at my aunts house for dinner & to hangout w| my cousins w| all my family. We were all having an amazing time as a family together. Towards the end of dinner & when we were right about to leave my aunt & grandma were screaming & whatnot, I’m not exactly sure becus’ I wasn’t in the room. We got told that we should go home, the kids should go home & the moms|aunts had to stay to talk everything out. At that point, the kids had NO idea what was really going on. When the aunties came home, my cousins mom told us what happen. At first, it didn’t really sink into me until’ I realized somethings when I was in the room w| my 3 other cousins. We were just sitting there, in the dark, crying. What more could we do ? My grandma looks happy, she seems happier & more alive. The thing is, that whole time, it changed my life. From when my aunt told me my grandparents are over til’ the time she came into the room & told us that it’s for the best. People won’t be together if they aren’t happy. I cried even more, knowing this could happen to me one day.. But it’s already happened to my wonderful amazing grandma.
After that, we all migrated to the game room & the cousins just sat there crying, realizing. My mom, my aunt, my grandma, & my cousins mom came into the room & started to tell us everything will be okay. We HAD to stop crying, it wasn’t healthy, escp since my grandma was in the room it made her feel guilty. I looked at her, & wanted to cry even more. How can I look at my grandma & not cry or feeel that hint of sadness in me? Before I went to go brush my teeeth & go to sleep, I got up & hugged my grandma. Hugging her goodnight, hurt badly, hurt more than anything I’ve ever experienced. I cried on her shoulder, but silently, not letting her kno. I don’t want to make her feeel guilty anymore, I love her too much to do that.
So, then we all had to sleeep, I got into bed still texting Raniel. I told him I’m going to sleep, so I did. During the night I woke up at least 5 times, not counting.Lifes hard, & we have to do what’s best for US. My life has changed …
cousin, sorry i wasn’t there. but it’s a history that started long before some of you were even born. i have seen the fights between our grandparents and it’s something that has scared me for life. i’m sad that our family won’t be the same, but understand that it’s the best for grandma. i love you dearly and so do they. together or not.
